Rahim Snow

On Being Pregnant

Rahim Snow — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 09:00:48 +0000

My Plan For My Life

Jenn Snow with Baby Snow inside

My incredible wife, Jenn, is pregnant with our first child who will be born in early July (inshallah). For a guy who thought he’d never get married or be a father, this is quite a turn of events for me as well as a blessing that brings me to my knees.

In forecasting the events of my life years ago, I always thought I would become a reclusive academic, living in the north at some liberal arts college, teaching courses in religious studies to a brand new set of freshmen year after year. Today, this forecast makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Thank God my plan for me didn’t happen and God’s plan for me did. Some people think that if you give up your plans and follow God’s plan, life will suck because, as everyone seems to agree, God is no fun. But what actually happens, if you’re willing to receive it that way, is that God’s plan is actually far more fun and pleasurable than your own. God is not a policeman waiting to arrest you or a judge waiting to send you to prison. God is an amazing friend who throws fabulous dinner parties. When he invites you, go! For the shrimp cocktail alone, go!

God made sure that I didn’t turn into a literary monk, seeking my personal fulfillment in an ivory tower of abstract ideas that had nothing but contempt for earth, flesh, blood, sweat. He tore down the bridges in front of me and blocked my path. I didn’t understand what was happening when he did it so I received it as an arrest and a punishment for a crime I didn’t know I had committed.

God’s Plan For My Life

It didn’t occur to me until much later that God desired to plant a new seed in me, to impregnate me with a new idea. It was not in my soul’s best interest to escape from the earth by locking myself in an ivory tower. God’s desire was for me to get back down to the earth, dig my fingernails deep into the soil, draw out water, harvest grain, bake bread, feed the hungry on the very steps of that ivory tower, to build an ivory bakery, if you will.

It was the sticky, sweaty, messy joining of what’s above with what’s below that God had in mind. Through that joining, seeds are planted. Life grows in moist hidden places where dreams are waiting to be born and visions are waiting to be revealed. That is where our real life is, not in some sanitary crystal palace made only out of our perfect plans.

For the last 10 years I’ve been watering the seed that was given to me. Just like my wife has been pregnant with our child who will arrive this summer, I have been pregnant with a seed whose first fruit, a book, will also make an appearance this summer.

God’s Plan For You

God can bring forth what he wants to bring forth without us, but it gives him great pleasure to bring it forth through us. Haven’t you noticed?

This joyous activity of God, this continuous impregnating and bringing to birth, is happening always and in everyone. Some know exactly what to do with it. Some learn to nurture it. Others interrupt it, distort it, or outright ignore it.

But every human being is given the opportunity every single day they wake up to feel that new seed moving inside and then decide what they’re going to do with it that day: water it or ignore it.

Every day, Jenn says to me, “I can feel the baby moving.” And we both get quiet and try to feel the movements.

Can you get quiet enough to feel the seed inside you moving? What are you pregnant with?

Our Wedding Ceremony

Rahim Snow — Mon, 04 May 2009 07:00:20 +0000

On March 14, 2009, I received the blessing of getting married to my best friend, Jennifer. Our ceremony was officiated by Reverend Annette Mize and held at the Fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta.

This is the full text of that ceremony.

Except for

two poems by the Persian poet Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003 (marked by a single asterisk * next to the person who speaks them), and
the parts written entirely by Reverend Annette Mize (marked by double asterisks ** next to her name),

I am the author and copyright holder over the rest of this text.

Having said that, Reverend Mize and I have decided to share the text of this ceremony with you under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

This license allows us to continue holding the copyright over the parts that we individually wrote while granting you the right to use our ceremony, modify it for your own needs, attribute the original back to us, and share your changes under this same license. This license prevents you, however, from using our ceremony for any commercial purposes like publishing it and selling it or distributing it in any other way and charging for it or claiming that you wrote it. So feel free to use it for any of your non-commercial personal uses.

Also: if you wish to contact Reverend Annette Mize to officiate at weddings and other ceremonies, her email address is iamrevannette@gmail.com. She is an absolute pleasure to work with, so do get in touch with her.

I hope you enjoy reading this ceremony. And if you have any comments, you can post them here. I’d love to hear what you think.

Rahim

This wedding ceremony is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Jennifer & Rahim’s
Wedding Ceremony
March 14, 2009

THE OPENING

Annette

Let it begin.
Let it begin.
Let it begin.

Let what split into two
become one
once again.

FIRST POEM

(by Hafiz, 13th century Persian poet,
translation copyright 2003 by Daniel Ladinsky)

Jennifer*

Our union is like this:
You feel cold so I reach for a blanket to cover our shivering feet.

Rahim*

A hunger comes into your body
so I run to my garden and start digging potatoes.

Jennifer*

You asked for a few words of comfort and guidance
and I quickly kneel by your side offering you a whole book as a gift.

Rahim*

You ache with loneliness one night so much
you weep,
and I say here is a rope,
tie it around me,
Hafiz will be your companion for life.

CREATING THE SACRED SPACE

Annette**

We are gathered here today to celebrate the loving union and partnership of Jennifer and Rahim. Why do we gather together to do that? Yes, it is nice to share food and wine, song and dance; but a deeper, more lasting reason for physically coming together is present here. It has to do with the creation of a community vessel which will hold and honor the intention, the foundation, which Jennifer and Rahim wish to build their future upon.

So I invite you now, if you are comfortable in doing so, to close your eyes for a moment. Feel the love you have for these two young souls before you. Feel it expand your heart and chest area. See that love filling this room; creating that vessel which will support and nourish the seed of intention which is being planted here today….

You have been invited to help create something awesome, something beautiful. See it as such and it will be so. As you feel ready and complete in this work, you may open your eyes.

THE WELCOME

Annette

Great Friend, welcome to this celebration of life!
Dearly beloved, welcome to this celebration of life!
Prophets and saints, angels and bodhisattvas,
welcome to this celebration of life!

THE WISDOM

Annette**

(to all those assembled)

This young couple before us; they have made a conscious decision to shift the Energy of their relationship. They have decided to “kick it up a notch”, go a little deeper, expand a little wider.

They are not new to each other.

They are not just starting out, naïve to the challenges and struggles that a dedicated relationship brings. They know that there is work involved in co-creating a life together. Yes, they know, because they have been doing it for a while.

So why bother with all of this grand coming together? Yes, it is a wonderful opportunity to bring friends and family together. It’s a great reason to have a fabulous party. One might say it’s even a great way to do their part to stimulate the economy.

I believe there is something much deeper going on here, though. You see, there is love and then there is LOVE. Many of us are fortunate to find the first and live absolutely wonderful lives with that finding. And that is a positively beautiful thing. But what I believe Rahim and Jennifer are doing here today is; they are saying “We know and Claim the Deeper Love as our right, and we are willing to work for it.”

With this ceremony, and you and I as witnesses, they are acknowledging the existence of, and are calling forth that Deeper, Greater, more Powerful LOVE that is truly available to us all, yet so seldom claimed.

Annette**

(to Jenn & Rahim)

If you were new to one another I might stand here and tell you that there will be challenges ahead and how you might weather those challenges. You already know that. So instead I will say to you (and to your friends and family) that there really are no challenges ahead; only opportunities.

Yes! Opportunities; opportunities to know each other better; opportunities to know better the world you are creating together; and ultimately, opportunities to know yourselves as individuals more deeply and fully.

If that were all that marriage is, well, that would be enough; but it is not all that marriage is. It is so very much more!

SECOND POEM

(by Hafiz, 13th century Persian poet,
translation copyright 2003 by Daniel Ladinsky)

Rahim*

Because the Woman I love lives
Inside of you,
I lean as close to your body with my words
As I can–

Jennifer*

And I think of you all the time, dear pilgrim.
Because the One I love goes with you
Wherever you go,
Hafiz will always be near.

Rahim*

If you sat before me, wayfarer,
With your aura bright from your many
Charms,

My lips could resist rushing to you and needing
To befriend your blushed cheek,
But my eyes can no longer hide
The wondrous fact of who
You Really are.

Jennifer*

The Beautiful One whom I adore
Has pitched His royal tent inside of you,
So I will always lean my heart
As close to your soul
As I can.

PROLOGUE TO THE DECLARATIONS

Annette**

Yes, the Deeper Marriage is so much more. It is the knowing that within the other lies The Beautiful One. In fact, it is the learning that ultimately, there is no “other”.

The two truly become ONE!

Annette

In tonight’s ceremony, Jennifer and Rahim will not be exchanging vows of things they hope to do in the future.

Instead, they will be declaring the commitments they’ve already made to each other. So instead of saying “I do,” they will say, “I am.”

The “I am” is always more powerful than “I do” because who you are is always more powerful than what you promise.

And dearly beloved, when it comes time for me to ask you to support this loving union, you will say, “We are.”

THE DECLARATIONS

for Rahim

Annette

(turns to Rahim)

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to Jennifer as your one partner in life, seeking no other while you hold true to one another?

Rahim

I am.

Annette

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to treating Jennifer with kindness, helpfulness, and–above all else–a love grounded in respect?

Rahim

I am.

Annette

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to loving Jennifer in a way that honors and protects her independent spirit?

Rahim

I am.

Annette

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to listening to Jennifer so deeply that you always strive to understand her points of view?

Rahim

I am.

Annette

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to recognizing Jennifer’s potential and supporting her dreams as if they were your own?

Rahim

I am.

Annette

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to holding a vision of Jennifer’s highest good consistently in mind?

Rahim

I am.

Annette

Rahim, are you the one who is committed to always inviting the Great Friend to join you as the third person in this partnership so that you are always supported and blessed by the Source of life and celebration itself?

Rahim

I am.

for Jennifer

Annette

(turns to Jennifer)

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to Rahim as your one partner in life, seeking no other while you hold true to one another?

Jennifer

I am.

Annette

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to treating Rahim with kindness, helpfulness, and–above all else–a love grounded in respect?

Jennifer

I am.

Annette

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to loving Rahim in a way that honors and protects his independent spirit?

Jennifer

I am.

Annette

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to listening to Rahim so deeply that you always strive to understand his points of view?

Jennifer

I am.

Annette

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to recognizing Rahim’s potential and supporting his dreams as if they were your own?

Jennifer

I am.

Annette

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to holding a vision of Rahim’s highest good consistently in mind?

Jennifer

I am.

Annette

Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to always inviting the Great Friend to join you as the third person in this partnership so that you are always supported and blessed by the Source of life and celebration itself?

Jennifer

I am.

for Jennifer & Rahim

Annette

Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to each other as partners in life, seeking no other while you hold true to one another?

Jennifer & Rahim

We are.

Annette

Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to bringing a spirit of joy and laughter to everything you do?

Jennifer & Rahim

We are.

Annette

Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to always reaching for and finding and celebrating the never-ending beauty and magic of life?

Jennifer & Rahim

We are.

Annette

Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to embodying a warm spirit of cooperation at the core of your partnership?

Jennifer & Rahim

We are.

Annette

Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to inviting the Great Friend to use your partnership for a purpose greater than either of you can imagine right now so that it reaches out beyond just you and blesses your friends, your families, and all the world?

Jennifer & Rahim

We are.

for the dearly beloved

Annette

(turns to the gathering)

Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to loving and supporting Jennifer and Rahim’s partnership in life?

Family & Friends

We are.

Annette

Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to honoring and protecting the uniqueness and independence of Jennifer and Rahim’s spirits?

Family & Friends

We are.

Annette

Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to holding a vision of their highest good consistently in mind?

Family & Friends

We are.

Annette

Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to creating a community of kindred spirits around Jennifer and Rahim’s children so that they grow up surrounded by warmth, wonder, blessing, belonging, and a deep sense of self-worth?

Family & Friends

We are.

THE BLESSING OF THE RINGS

Annette**

(Annette blesses the rings, speaking from her heart)

MINISTER’S ADVICE

Annette**

Jennifer and Rahim, you are creating with intention a life together, a life formally entwined. My advice to you both is to remember to take time apart from one another to continue to nourish that bigger relationship which is so obviously at the foundation of this relationship. You each have personal connection with the Great Friend. Don’t let this relationship crowd out that one. Seek The Friend daily and spend time in the stillness.

Nor shall you let any other outside relationship crowd out this one you have created here today. Make time to be together; even with careers, even after the children come.

You have made many declarations today. Pull them out on your anniversary and review them. Not together, lest it seem like you’re grading one another; but separately, in prayer, with a spirit of congratulations and with the intention of enthusiastically doing even better in the next year.

You are blessed to have found each other. Hold to that knowing.

THE CLOSING

Annette

(looks toward the four corners and the gathering)

To the Great Friend and all the spirits of love and compassion we have invited here, we give thanks for your presence in this celebration of life. And we ask that you hold this union in your hearts, that you watch over this union like a newborn child, and that you seal this union with your loving blessings.

(turns toward Jennifer & Rahim)

May the blessings of the Great Friend be upon you.
May the blessings of Muhammad and Khadija be upon you.
May the blessings of Ali and Fatima be upon you.
May the blessings of Jesus and Mary be upon you.

[ cue ♫ Coldplay’s “Lovers in Japan” ]

May the blessings of all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas be upon you.
May the blessings of all your families and friends gathered here and afar be upon you.

May your union be a light in your families.
May your union be a light among your friends.
May your union be a beautiful light in this beautiful world.

And as you go forth, walking hand in hand,
may you always laugh by helping others to laugh!
May you always shine by helping others to shine!

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband & wife, partners in life.

Let there be a kiss!

Kahlil Gibran on Friendship

Rahim Snow — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 07:53:12 +0000

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

At the rehearsal dinner, the night before my wedding, I read the following poem by Kahlil Gibran to close friends and family:

And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship.

And he answered, saying:
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

-Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), Lebanese American artist, poet, writer

excerpt from Gibran, Kahlil. The Prophet. New York: Knopf, 1971.

Today I Will Be Marrying That Girl

Rahim Snow — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 10:50:26 +0000

Today, I’ll be marrying that girl, you know the one: God bless us and watch over our union, and be the third person in our partnership, inshallah (as he wills).

One Day From Now

Rahim Snow — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 07:26:03 +0000

Tomorrow, I’ll be marrying that girl whose beautiful face kept showing up when I prayed for a mighty companion in life.

Two Days From Now

Rahim Snow — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:21:20 +0000

Two days from now, I’ll be marrying that girl who made me believe I was beautiful.

Three Days From Now

Rahim Snow — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:35:15 +0000

Three days from now, I’ll be marrying that girl who makes all those love songs make sense.

God Takes Care Of Us

Rahim Snow — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:57:53 +0000

God takes care of us.

Not the government,
not the military,
not the police,
not the banks,
not the schools,
not the churches,
not the hospitals,
not the corporations,
not the nonprofits,
not the media,
not the watchdogs,
not the underdogs:

only God.

Will you let God take care of you?

Why Start A Blog

Rahim Snow — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 08:21:08 +0000

Why does anyone start a blog? Why did I? Why should you?

Vanity? Profit? Or just a good way to work through your thoughts?

Do you ever get the feeling that you’ve got a lot going on in your head & heart and you have a lot of things to say and try out and share and you need somewhere to put it all and it would be so unkind to unleash it all on one person and who really knows if your friends really care about all the things you forward to them…

So wouldn’t it be nice if something, someone, somewhere, somehow was able to receive your thoughts without complaining too much and just hold them — all the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, the raw, the refined, the exciting, the boring, the helpful, the self-serving, the trivial, the tremendous — and don’t judge them but just hold them and let them be and let them play out however they may.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Thus: the blog.

Go ahead. Start one. It won’t hurt.

(You can even start with a free one from our friends at Wordpress.com)

Artist Prayer

Rahim Snow — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 06:53:20 +0000

In the name of Allah,

Being of all beings,

Artist of all artists,

Teacher of all teachers,

Lord of all the worlds,

Most Gracious, most Compassionate,

God above all else,

Friend like no other—

I offer this humble work

In service, friendship, and love with you,

And I ask in the names

Of the high ambassadors of God—

Muhammad and Ali, Mary and Fatima,

Moses and Shekinah, Jesus and the Holy Spirit,

Peace be upon them all—

That this work may help the people of God

Remember that they are the people of God—

Yet only with your will and blessing that it be so.

Thank you, Allah, for making me

What you have made me.

Thank you, Allah, for giving me

What you have given me.

Thank you, Allah, for helping me to give

What you have given me to give.

All greatness, all glory, and all praise belong to you.

Here I am, Allah,

At your service,

Here I am.